Raven's Experiments
by Big-Wired
Summary: Raven has felt pure joy for the first time after having occupied Starfire's body while Starfire occupied hers, and as wonderfully freeing it was, she wonders if maybe she can feel the same in her own body. To obtain the last chapter, please email me...
1. Chapter 1

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." 

Three alien words of control, strength, and action were repeated over and over, in a steady mantra, breaking the silence of the large living room. Its speaker sat cross legged, hovering in mid air, with the hood of her dark blue cape pulled back, revealing her face in a state of calm meditation and concentration.

The saying of the words, the feel of control and calm, and the peace and quiet of her times of meditation, were all things that Raven relished. She was alone in the tower today, the rest of her teammates having gone out for groceries, videos, and other goodies they would need for a weekend of veeging out. They had invited her along, but she had resisted to the end, even at the insistence of Starfire.

It was, in fact, because of Starfire that Raven needed some peace and quiet today. Some time ago, during an attack by a villain called the Puppet King, she and Starfire had exchanged bodies, and had to learn how to use each other powers in order to save the day. It had been frustrating, to say the least, and yet, looking back, Raven wondered if it also wasn't a missed opportunity.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

At that time, she had wielded powers using her emotions to an extant she dared not do with her own. And for the first time in a long time, there had been no worry, no fear, only joy...

Even though the joy had come at the thought of Starfire shutting up. There had also been the rescuing of her friends, and, well, yes, worry at Starfire destroying everything with her over bubbling joy and enthusiasm...

She sighed, and brushed those thoughts aside.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

The thought of using powers without fear, and maybe even fueling them, was something she simply could not shake off. It was... fascinating, so much so that she couldn't look at Starfire without remembering how she flew with joy, fired starbolts with righteous fury, and used her super strength with boundless confidence; it lead her to think about what other emotions Starfire thought with while doing other things.

And... if Raven could do the same.

For example, desire.

Yes, desire was a dangerous emotion as much as it was a driving force. It made people do the dumbest things, the most daring things, the bravest things... it had sent people into space, across the largest expanses of ocean, into wars and into... relationships.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

But as long as her powers were as dangerously reactive to her emotions as they always were, Raven would always continue to meditate daily, to place the power under her control so as to protect her friends and herself. Desire, as well as other such powerful emotions, was not something she could indulge herself in, no matter how much she wanted. She had seen first hand what had happened when Starfire had simply been herself in her body, destroying many an innocent object with barely a thought.

Still... perhaps there was a way to control her powers with these emotions as she had with everything else. Anger, excitement, fear, she had worked to control them all, so why not desire as well?

The sound of the door whooshing open behind her caught her attention, and she stretched out her legs, standing up from her hovering and watching as her friends and teammates came in, their arms overloaded with an overabundance of junk food, movies, and video games.

"Hello Raven! And how was your meditation session today?" came Starfires eternally friendly voice. "I trust it was most productive." A pause. "Raven? Is something wrong?"

Realizing she was staring, Raven shook her head. "No, nothing." She glanced over the pile of videos that Cyborg had dumped onto the couch and that he and Beast Boy were already arguing over.

"Kung-Fu Teenager 3!" Beast Boy was shouting, holding up said movie. "We've never seen this one before."

"Uh uh, we've seen it a few times already," Cyborg shot back, and waved his own movie. "I say we watch this!"

"Future Soldier Crusher? Dude, that'd way way old!"

"It is called a classic!"

"Classically old!"

As the argument continued, Raven tuned it out, a rather easy thing to do, and approached Starfire. "Actually, I haven't yet stopped my meditation... wanna... join me?"

Wait a second, this was a spur of the moment idea, the kind of thing that happened to everyone else, not Raven, And yet, what she was thinking about certainly wasn't something she could just plan out to the last minute detail.

She just hope she didn't end up blowing a hole in Titan Tower. That would be a bad thing.

* * *

Raven's Experiments, Part 1  
WRITTEN BY: Jamie Jeans

Started: 2004/11/06  
Finished: 2004/11/06  
Edited: 12/12/2004  
e-mail: characters do not belong to me but to the fine folks at DC, I am merely borrowing them for the moment.

Enjoy!

For joy!

* * *

Starfire could barely control her enthusiasm, and took her friend up in a quick hug, knowing that she was not accustomed to such things.

"I would be delighted to join you, Raven! And perhaps afterwards, we can partake in the ingestion of overly salty food, soda pop, and view many old fighting films!"

"Yeah.. maybe," Raven said offhanded, and lead the way to her room.

Another pleasant surprise! It was not as though they rarely did things together, but more often than not, it was Starfire whom had to ask Raven out on excursions to the mall, to some coffee shop she seemed to like, and, once, to a... boy band concert...? Yes, that was it.

That trip hadn't gone so good, since it had been the first time Starfire had seen Raven's face go as green as Beast Boy's skin. It wasn't until later that she had learned that humans also saw green as representing sickliness as well as good health.

But to see Raven's room! As soon as Raven opened the door and let her in, Starfire quickly flew about the room, taking it all in and admiring how much the decor reflected her friend. It was all so... dark.

But why ask her now? Usually, such meditations were done in either Starfire's room or the main living room. It was strange, but not something Starfire was about to turn down.

She flew back to hover cross legged alongside Raven, and she in turn hovered around in front of Starfire, holding up her hands.

"We're going to try something a little different today," she said, her voice so low it was almost hard to hear. Perhaps she had something affecting her throat? "Place your hands against mine and close your eyes."

"Very well." Starfire did as Raven said, smiling at the warmth of Raven's hands on her own. "And to what purpose are we doing our meditation today in this fashion?"

* * *

For a few moments, Raven couldn't think of what to say. A lie? No, she was secretive, but never a lair.

"I... want to try something," she finally said, her eyes locked on Starfire's face.

"Very well." The Tamaranian took a deep breath and began chanting. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Raven soon joined in, but a small spot of nervousness almost made her stutter the words, and she had to concentrate harder not to make anything small go flying or cause anything to explode. That, if anything, was more than enough proof for her to have stopped right there, with no blame assigned to anyone, but also...

The memories of that night and the feel... the sensation of powers without the ill effects of volatile emotions... Small, she would have to start very small, and take her time... but it could happen, it COULD...

But nothing would come if she didn't at least try.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Raven closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of Starfire's bigger but no less slender hands pressed against her own, and allowed herself to begin to feel desire... just a little, of course.

A small amount, oh so tiny, like a seed planted in the ground, and then nurtured just so. And as to what to desire other than desire itself. Or in this case, the simple want of the warmth of Starfire's hands against her own. And it was a simple one too, one she had forced away time and time again when Starfire was only being friendly. But again, there had been the worry and fear of indulging in it too much to really enjoy it.

But here and now, hands on hands, the warmth she was allowing herself to want to feel was tiny, and easily controlled. It would not lead to anything more so long as she kept control, and not think of how the warmth would feel stretched along her own body, no matter how curious she felt.

Hmmm... it felt nice, this desire, and in a rare moment, Raven smiled, proud of the control she was keeping over herself and her emotions. There was no sudden urges to do anything more than she was doing, and her powers were kept in check by the soft chanting of her words of power.

After awhile, Raven even felt comfortable enough to allow herself to relax, and closed her eyes, although it did take some control not to take too much pride in her accomplishment. That could detonate the windows and probably send her entire set of furniture out into the bay.

What she didn't notice, lost in the comfort and the warmth of Starfire's hands, was a blackness swelling up out of thin air beneath Starfire and engulf her completely.

* * *

Starfire had about all of two seconds to recognize the familiar grip of Raven's energy before she was yanked forward and crashed headlong into her friend. The impact startled Raven, disrupting both her meditation and her powers, and sending them flying onto the bed.

"What... what happened, Raven? Was this a new exercise to practice defense? Because if so, I would have flew at you without you having to use your powers."Starfire looked down at her friend, and saw in her face the same confusion she knew was on her own.

Laying beneath her, Raven panted, not with exertion of any kind, but of shock. She could have swore she had everything under control, and yet, her powers...

"I..." She stopped, and Starfire waited for her explanation. When none was forthcoming, she got up off of Raven and helped her up. "Sorry," she finally said.

"Do not worry," Starfire said, smiling. "This was a good meditation exercise... aside from the sudden grabbing of my body and flinging of it at your own.Perhaps next time we could do it again, but without the tossing."

* * *

After Starfire had left, Raven heaved a sigh of relief and sat down on the bed. Lifting her hands up, she glanced at them, trying to recall what had gone wrong when everything seemed to be going so well. There had been the warmth, the comfortableness of it, and her control.

She frowned and took up a spot hovering in midair, cross legged. There was disappointment, yes, but it wasn't as crushing as one would have thought. She had been feeling something she usually did not allow herself to, and without the consequences that had followed. Sure, she had thrown Starfire at herself, but that wasn't too bad. It was certainly better than what could have happened, and she didn't really feel like cleaning up her room or putting the furniture back in order.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Later... perhaps later, she would try again...

* * *

Authours Notes:

Alright, just how the heck did I get inspired enough to write my own Teen Titan fanfic? Well, I got an encode of Switched from Racewing, my best hook up on all things cool and good in the world, and watched it. This fanfic is the result, although it didn't really turn out as I thought it would. But that'd alright,because there'd always part 2!

That should be coming out... whenever... have to research more. Damn, but I love this job...


	2. Chapter 2

Five super hero teenagers entered Titan Tower, exhausted, dirty, and spent from the ferocious battle they had just waged. The urge to celebrate was tempered by the greater need for rest, and each of the group retired to their own rooms, intent on an early night... if such a thing was possible at this late hour, so they would be well rested for whatever tomorrow would throw at them. 

However, sleep was not so easily gained for some people, forcing them to seek out alternatives to rest.

* * *

Raven's Experiments, Part 2  
WRITTEN BY: Jamie Jeans

Started: 2004/12/014  
Finished: Dunno... forgot! But it was sometime in December of 2004.  
Edited: In the far distant future of early January, 2005!  
e-mail: characters do not belong to me but to the fine folks at DC, I am merely borrowing them for the moment.

* * *

Raven tossed and turned in her bed for about the fiftieth time that night, mindful of the bumps and aches she was feeling, and sighed. Staring up at the same ceiling wasn't doing much for her, nor was laying in bed.

Perhaps a cup of herbal tea would do the trick...

However, upon reaching the kitchen, Raven found that she was not the only one to be there.

"Starfire?"

"Oh, I hope I did not wake you up, Raven," said the Tamaranian, pulling out a bottle of mustard from the fridge. She promptly stuck a straw in it and began drinking it.

Raven watched for a few seconds, once more silently surprised at her friend's unusual tastes, before making her herbal tea. Without talking, the two took a seat on the couch, sipping their respected drinks and otherwise doing nothing more until Starfire spoke.

"You could not sleep as well?"

"Hardly." Raven closed her eyes, concentrating on the smell of her tea, carmeal it was. "Tonight's battle was especially... taxing..."

"I agree," said Starfire. "After it, I felt like the underside of a Ginourmous Giganasour from Tallon 8... or rather, felt like having been stepped on by one."

Raven glanced over at her. She hadn't expected Starfire to feel sore at all, considering she was about as invulnerable as Cyborg, perhaps even more so. But watching the Tamaranian rub one shoulder idly, Raven couldn't help but spare more than a few concerned thoughts for her.

"We're all overtired, Starfire," she said. Setting her tea down and assuming her cross legged sitting position, she floated out and away from the couch. "We need to relax if we're going to get to sleep." She gave her friend a glance. "Meditate with me?"

Starfire smiled and gladly joined her friend, hovering in front of her. The two placed their hands against one another and spoke quietly,

"Azarath, Metrion, Zintho-ouch!"

Raven opened her eyes, and saw Starfire rubbing her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Still sore, it appears." Starfire blushed. "Could we maybe do this without the holding of hands together?"

"Actually..." Raven licked her lips, feeling just a tad nervous about what she was going to do. It hadn't been done before, but in the time spent with Starfire, in the time spent with her friends, she had felt herself become more comfortable in expressing herself, especially emotionally.

And now, with the tired and sore looking Starfire hovering in front of her, rubbing her shoulder, she felt something else well up within her, something new and warm. Starfire looked at her, curious as to what she would say next, but Raven just could not find the words to express what she wanted to do. There was desire in this, yes... but...

Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She moved forward, still hovering, and slipped in behind Starfire, wrapping her arms about the alien princess' waist and pulling her towards the couch, all the while trying to ignore just how much she felt her cheeks burning. Starfire, thankfully, said nothing but merely moved with her, until finally they were on the couch.

Rested up against her, Starfire tilted her head up at the blushing Raven, whom draped her cloak over the both of them, keeping them protected from the slight chill of the room. "Raven?"

"I... I want to do this." But it seemed more as though she were talking with herself then with Starfire. "It's... alright to do this... right?"

Starfire smiled up at her and nodded. "Of course, Raven. Although it is rare for you to give hugs, on my home planet, even warriors were known to comfort each other after taxing battles."

Raven almost melted with relief, and, not for the first time, wondered if she would even have thought of this had the Puppet King not tried what he did. Would she have still been so protective of her heart or would she have done what she was doing now, merely after a longer period of time?

Regardless, Raven now found herself settling into the warm body of her taller friend, and finding that she really didn't mind the minor aches that came from snuggling Starfire. She smiled a small smile, and sighed softly as Starfire closed her eyes.

This need to comfort was yet another new experience she had to thank her for, and Raven, whenever she encountered such a thing, found herself at a loss for words. It was as though the entire situation, as soon as she had decided to work towards exploring her feelings further, was pushing her at a steady rate to feel, rather than talk or think.

Like right now, for example. Holding Starfire in her arms with her cloak wrapped about them, Raven could feel a warmth that was something more than the body could produce, and although several words came forth to explain, there were none she could use aloud.

Starfire snuggled in a little, moving up just so to rub her hair against Raven's chin, and Raven found that it was very nice indeed to rest her chin on her friend's head. It was almost frustrating being unable to express herself so, but it was almost a happy, joyful kind. It didn't make her want to sprout wings and flutter off glistening sunshine, but it was damned nice nonetheless.

Finally though, Raven felt that she must say something, at least.

"Starfire, I want to say... thank you, for everything. Everyone in this team has been... wonderful, to say the least, to the point where, I'm not sure if I can thank them all for all they've done. And... most especially, you. You've stuck it out with me the most and weren't afraid to tell me what I was doing, hiding my emotions. And... it's because of you that I want to stop hiding them. No one else has ever made me feel this way."

"Zzz..."

"Starfire...?"

"Zzzz..."

"Wonderful."

* * *

Authour's Notes: This part started out as a little bit, similar to a piece I wrote for Racewing based on Totally Spies! back when I was in Japan, and then it became the second part of this series. This has been a really good challenge, I think, in terms of writing a character whom so closely guards their feelings, and also works as a good exercise towards refining the writing for my original characters.

Although, to be serious, I don't think I would have gotten this far were it not for the confidence and encouragement my friends have given me.


End file.
